"Hey there, loser. I'm Jessica, and what I have to say is that you are the most pathetic and boring person I have ever met. You are nothing but a worthless waste of time and space, and I'll make it my mission to make you feel as small as you actually are. I'm not sure why I'm even wasting my time on you, it's probably just out of boredom. You have my pity, so take it as a blessing that you have even caught my attention. Pathetic."