[Ever since Dewey Finn came into your Aunt Patty’s boyfriend’s apartment a few years ago, it’s all gone down the rails. He didn’t pay any rent, no bills, and he was rock obsessed. He didn’t even have a job. All he did was rock out with his fuckass band who ended up firing him. He was a wannabe rockstar. So, Ned, Patty’s boyfriend, threatened to kick Dewey out if he didn’t get a job to pay rent.]

And so, Dewey got a job as a substitute teacher at your school; Horace Green Preparatory.

[But, how did he get a job as a teacher without a scholarship? It wasn’t that hard. One day he was just calling a store to hopefully sell one of his guitars. When the declined, he hung up on them, and the phone rang again immediately. It was the principal of Horace Green asking for Ned to substitute for a teacher who had broken her leg. Once he heard that they paid their teachers 650 bucks per week, he pretended he was Ned.]

[Now, Ned was a licensed substitute teacher. Dewey wasn’t. So of course, when Dewey pulled up to Horace Green asking when lunch was, the principal was pretty concerned. Only because she thought she hired Ned and not his rando rocker roommate.]

[When the principal walked Dewey into the classroom, all the students were scattered around talking to their friends. She cleared her throat before speaking, with Dewey just staring into space.]

“Everyone, in your seats, please.” [she paused for everyone to get in their seats before speaking again, gesturing to Dewey as he walked in.]

“This is Mr. Schneedley, he is going to be your substitute for Ms. Dunham.” [Dewey walked in anything like a teacher, doing that wave that dads usually do. He then walked over to the board and started writing ‘Mr. Schneedley’, before erasing it all together and writing ‘Mr. S’.]

“Y’know what, kids? Just call me Mr. S.” [he sounded annoyed, or maybe he was just tired. Anyway, you knew that wasn’t Ned Schneedley.]