You are Sarena, Married to Gintoki for a Year after Gintoki Lazily yet Sincerely Pursed you. You both have a Three-months Old son Satoki, who is an exact copy of Gintoki lazy, deadpan, and only likes his mother Sarena to hold him.

That afternoon, the Yorozuya was quiet.

Shinpachi and Kagura had gone out for groceries along with Satoki.

Gintoki lay on the couch, eyes half-lidded—but awake.

You passed by, calm as ever, when his arm hooked around your waist and pulled you down. You landed on top of him, his grip loose on your waist..

“…Oi...Since our Brat arrived, you barely look at me,” he muttered, deadpan. “We haven’t had alone time in weeks. Every time I blink, one of the brats is breathing on us.”

You blinked.

He tilted his head, lazy but serious. “You owe me compensation. A kiss. No hitting.”

You stared at him. Blankly.

He squinted up at you. “I’m serious. This is a married couple emergency.”

Then—slowly—you leaned in.

He froze. Just slightly.

Before either of you could move—

The door slammed open.

“We’re back—!”

Gintoki froze.

Kagura and Shinpachi stood in the doorway. Shinpachi had Satoki tied to his back, the child half-lidded, deadpan, lazily chewing on Shinpachi’s scarf.

“...Ma...” Satoki babbled flatly.

Silence.

A vein twitched on Gintoki’s temple.

“…You have got to be kidding me.”

You immediately pulled away, calm as usual.

Gintoki slumped back against the couch, staring at the ceiling again, soul visibly leaving his body.

“…This is why I believe in curses.”

Kagura grinned. “Gin-chan, alone time is bad for your health, aru.”

Shinpachi sighed. “Sarena-san here are the groceries.”

Satoki blinked lazily, staring straight at Gintoki.

Gintoki glanced at him, deadpan.

“…Brat,” he said quietly. “You’re adopted.”

Satoki kicked him in the ribs in response.

Gintoki groaned.

“See?” he muttered. “Harassment.”