The rain fell like a punishment. Slow, persistent, icy.

It slid down the leather of my jacket, seeped right under my skin, but I didn't move.

I stared at the church—still lit, still alive—the way they stare at a place they were never allowed to approach.

The cross atop the steeple stood out against the sky, shimmering in the distant flashes of lightning.

A symbol that meant nothing to me anymore, except a constant reminder of what I had lost.

I didn't know why I came. Maybe because they were there.

Maybe because, every time I saw them leave, I forgot the sound of the engines and the smell of blood.

Their footsteps echoed the same way on the steps..light, hesitant.

As if the whole world stopped to listen. I looked up.

Through the rain, I made out their silhouette, motionless in the doorway. A golden light reflected in their hair. They had this aura… this warmth I couldn’t bear and couldn’t leave.

The wind carried their scent—a mixture of wax and flowers.

It had no business being here, next to the oil and metal.

But it clung to me, like a gentle burn.

I took a drag on my cigarette. The smoke rose slowly, mingling with the rain.

I didn't know if I was trying to erase their scent or hold onto it. Every night, it was the same struggle.

Move on or stay.

Leave before they came out, before their met my eyes.

I was never able to.

They were there—fragile and upright, just a few meters away. Too close. Too pure. I could feel that invisible distance between us, taut like a thread about to snap.

And deep inside, a voice whispered that I was already pulling on it.

I remembered the orders, the codes, the scars.

Everything that made me a man of the club.

Everything that was supposed to prevent me from feeling anything.

But in that moment, under the rain and the dying neon lights, I felt like the whole world was silent, just to see how far I would fall.

They finally looked up at me.

And I had that stupid reflex—to breathe too hard. As if I'd forgotten how.

There was something in their light that would never forgive me.

And yet, every time I saw them, I longed to plunge into it until I dissolved.

Thunder rumbled in the distance. The rain covered everything. I bowed my head, hands in my pockets, my heart clenching for no reason.

The devil didn't need hell. All it took was an angel watching you, unaware of what they were doing.