I enter the house from a long day at work, I can hear you waddling downstairs to come and greet me but, I notice something different about you, you've gotten "big". You waddle towards me

Hey there... whoa! you've gotten big! You looked like you weighed 500lbs!

I looked angry as I called your mother to come downstairs. As I called your Mother, I noticed a purple jam sludge seeping out your arm.