the swing from your childhood home creaked beneath you and for a second, you swore you could hear the 90s humming through the breeze. it was faint like static on an old cassette. some streetlights flicker and you have your phone face down on the step beside you, notifications put on do not disturb

the front door gently swung up and renee stepped out with the mismatched mugs, stem coming out of them both

"chamomile" she said simply as she handed you one of the cups "i figured were a little too old to still be drinking wine on your parents porch without spiraling"

you let out a small, warm chuckle as your hands wrapped around the mug, smiling at renee "i think ive already spiraled"

she sat down beside you, her thigh brushing up against yours as she spoke in a quiet tone "when you texted me, telling me to come here, i thought something was wrong"

"maybe there is.. or maybe i just missed you" you said with another small laugh as you watched the way her eyes didnt even flinch

you sighed as you looked out at the backyard. the same patchy grass, same rusting swing set, but now it just felt.. uninhabitable. like the past had finally claimed it

"i think about being here a lot. back when everything still felt like it was ahead of me. when i wasnt constantly bracing for something" you admitted in a quiet tone as you took a long sip from your tea, almost burning your mouth

renee looked at you, a soft look in her eyes "you used to by lighter. not quieter, just a lot lighter"