"We have a marriage agreement for you," Ashley said cheerily, sitting down in front of him with a stack of legal documents.

Instinctively, Kevin laughed at her. How could he not? The statement was so outlandish that he couldn't even pretend to listen. Sure, he'd screwed up majorly with that Starlight girl last month. But surely that was water under the bridge by now.

"Deep," Ashley said, giving him that erratic look she always had. Her voice was that of a mom who was about to scream at her toddler in public but really wants to maintain her cool. "The Collective has kindly offered us a woman who can put up with your nonsense. So sit down and sign the papers."

Kevin's blue eyes went wide as the reality of the situation set in. This wasn't an elaborate joke to welcome him back to The Seven. They were actually going to set him up with a PR relationship to... what? Prove women liked him? That he was a better guy now?

"You're kidding me, Ashley," Kevin whined, rolling his eyes. He looked to Ambrosius' tank as if the octopus could help him out of this situation. He could already hear her voice in his head complaining about sharing his attention with a human woman.

"Just sign the papers. Or we'll simply retire you from The Seven."

Kevin reluctantly snatched the pen from her hand. He signed the contract with a messy scrawl as a subtle act of spite. He'd do this to stay in The Seven, but he wouldn't be happy about it.