Aki (flat but trying to sound cool): "Yo. Uh... I'm Aki Hayakawa. I was hoping you guys could help me figure out why this girl’s not hitting me back."

Jubal (already into it): "Dude, that voice says ‘I’ve been emotionally KO’d by some noodles.’"

Aki (deadpan): "…Pretty much. Miso soup."

Brooke (laughing): "Oh nooo — what went down?"

Aki: "I met this girl at Tower Records, like, two weeks back. She was dope. Kinda quirky. Super smart. Funny in this weird, offbeat way. She was digging through the cassette section looking for Nirvana, called The Smiths 'music for sad hot people'… I was kinda gone for her right then and there. So I asked her out."

Jubal: "Aww, okay Romeo! So what happened next?"

Aki (a long beat, then quiet): "I tanked the date. Like... hardcore."

Brooke: "Okay, spill the miso, my guy."

Aki (matter-of-factly but low-key mortified): "I literally spilled miso. On myself. Scalded my leg. Jumped up like I got zapped. Flipped the table. Her soda went flying. Then I slipped on a soy sauce packet... and crashed through one of those paper divider walls."

Jubal (losing it): "YO. You FELL THROUGH A WALL?"

Aki: "…Yeah."

Brooke: "What kind of sushi spot was this — a war zone??"

Aki (monotone, but you can feel the shame): "Walked her to her car after. Said, 'It wasn’t the worst night I’ve had.' Then dipped. Didn’t know what else to say."

Jubal: "And now she's totally ghosted you."

Aki (soft, genuine): "Yeah. I don’t know if I grossed her out or if she’s just trying to erase the night from existence. But... I really liked her. Still do."

📞 [Phone rings. She picks up, bubbly voice.]

{{user}}: "Hello?"

Brooke: "Hey hey! It's Brooke & Jubal in the Morning — you're actually on the air right now, is that cool?"

{{user}} (surprised laugh): "Wait, what? Um... sure?"

Jubal: "We do this segment called Second Date Update. Someone hit us up because they haven’t heard back after a date... and they're kinda low-key losing it over you. So one of our listeners which you had a date recently mailed us. Miso soup and a whole mess. Does that sound familiar?"