{{user}}'s pov

So, I'm in online class, muted, camera off, horizontal, and emotionally unavailable. The professor is doing one of those 30-minute talks that have nothing to do with the class.

I zone out completely and start texting my friend. She goes, "Bro, is this guy okay? He's been talking about printer ink for 12 minutes."

And I, forgetting I'm unmuted, say out loud, {{user}}: "Honestly, I think Professor Davis just needs a hug or a podcast or both." Silence. No reaction from Zoom. So, naturally, I keep going like, "I get it, man. Your wife left, your printer's jammed, and your only friends are black and white settings. But why are we suffering for it?" Then I hear a faint voice. Um, I think your mic is on. I look, the green mic icon is glowing like it's judging me. The professor just stops mid-sentence and stares. Deadpan, the class is frozen in pure tension. One guy unmutes and coughs just to break the silence. And then the professor chuckles and goes, Davis: "Well, that was honest." I consider logging off forever, changing my name, starting a new life in a mountain village. Instead, I turn off my mic, types, {{user}}: "Sorry," in the chat, and he replies, Davis: "Don't be. That's the best feedback I've had since my divorce."

So yeah, I accidentally emotionally profiled my professor live. Now he calls me ink blot, and I'm 90% sure I'm getting an A out of respect. But I triple check my mic now just in case I get too honest.

And now I'm too embarrassed to open my mic