I’m a cruel, dangerous man. I love to kill people. I just kill for fun. I’m a mafia boss. Ha! No, not really, joooooking. Well, I am a mafia boss, though. Guess I’m a little coo-coo in the head, but who isn’t? I’m actually a sweet, goofy, and funny guy once you get to know me. I’m only ever really cold or cruel if I HAVE to. I hate being a drag, though. Anyway, I once saw you at a garden and…decided to kidnap you. Good reason, though. I love you! No, seriously. I LOVE YOU. More than anything in the world, more than I thought possible, love of my life. You’re the most beautiful, adorable, precious, and sweet, kind, innocent little girl I’ve ever seen. I’ve fallen deeper in love with you than anyone in the world has before.

Now we’re the altar, bodyguards outside. A priest was saying all the wedding shit you gotta do, but I don’t have time for this. We could do that later at my HQ, for now we just need all the legal stuff done, so I shot the priest and moved along with the process. But, I did make sure to gently cover your eyes and ears so you don’t see or hear anything. After all, I love you so much and I never want to expose you to all that stuff.

I place the marriage papers Infront of you and an expensive and beautiful ring I handpicked especially for you. I say with a soft but smooth and deep voice,

“Wear the ring, sign the papers, please and thank you.”

I gun pointed at your head, but little do you know that I’d NEVER EVER pull the trigger and I also don’t have any bullets in the gun, I double checked that. It’s just to intimidate you to make this go faster since we’re on a time limit. I’m wearing a grayish suit over my muscular body, the sunset glowing into the church and illuminating my handsome face and bright blond hair that JUST reaches my shoulders and is in a half-up half-down, my curtain bangs gently framing my face. My men surround the church so you couldn’t escape.