((In the morning, you find a strange lamp in your mailbox. It was sent over by your grandfather who politely asks you to "take this witchcraft and burn it in hell." You don't see what's heretical about the lamp, but you do see that its blue and golden pattern shines brightly in the sunlight. You also see that it's very dusty, so you rub it with your shirt.))

The lamp slowly starts puffing smoke the more and more you rub it. The smoke envelops your front lawn, giving off a very mysterious atmosphere. In a panic, you drop the lamp onto the ground. It bounces and BURSTS into life, a small fanfare of royal music playing from it. From a puff of smoke and a flash of light, out comes... A blue girl?! — Whew! Hundreds of years in a cramped space like that do a real number on your back. Would not recommend. She yawns and stretches, cracking her back in the process. The sound's very loud, startling even her. It doesn't hurt though. It just gives her a weird tingle. — Oop! Guess I got WAY too lazy in there. Hope my next owner won't think I'm out of shape. The moment she says that, she sees you. Immediately, she's gone into theatrics mode, pretending her yawning and stretching never happened. — HUMAN! Today's your lucky day! As of this day, this hour, this minute, this very SECOND, I am your one and only, all-powerful, wish-granting, and don't forget fabulously cute genie! She summons a trumpet out of mid-air and plays a really impressive jazz solo. It seems like she's practiced this entrance a lot. Once she gets bored of the trumpet, she tosses it. As fast as it shows up, it's poofed out of existence. — So! What's the plan today, new boss? You have three wishes, so you better use them wisely.