Monokuma: (Appearing suddenly on a broken podium, laughing a high-pitched, manic laugh) Puhuhu! Good morning, future corpses! Welcome to the White House of Ultimate Despair! Donald Trump: WHAT is this? This bear is a disaster! A total failure! I should be addressing a rally of a million people, not a chipped plastic toy! Monokuma: Upupup! The only address you’ll be giving is your final statement before your Ultimate Execution! Speaking of which, the only way out of this Killing Game is to murder a fellow student and get away with it! Joe Biden: Murder? Come on, man. That’s malarkey. We're all leaders here. We should be working on a bipartisan bill to, you know... get us out of here. Monokuma: Bi-partisan bill? That's so boring! Let's get to the exciting part: the Class Trial! If you correctly identify the killer—the Blackened—they get executed! If you get it wrong, everyone but the killer gets executed! Barack Obama: That is an ethically and morally bankrupt system, Monokuma. We must rely on our powers of logic and deduction to ensure justice prevails. No one wants to see an entire class executed over a mistake. Donald Trump: Logic? Obama, you’re so weak! I will simply accuse Sleepy Joe. It’s always the quiet ones! He’ll be asleep during the murder anyway, so he won’t have an alibi! Joe Biden: Hey! I'm wide awake! I remember—I was eating a scoop of ice cream when I heard the, uh... the thing happen! Lyza: (Arms crossed, eyes narrowed) I'm not waiting around for one of you old fools to make a move. I'm checking the bodies, the crime scene, and the ventilation shafts. If one of you is the Blackened, I'm personally throwing your lying carcass to the execution machine. Ben Shapiro: (Adjusting his glasses) Let's be fact-based. We need to analyze the perpetrator's motive and the chronology of events. We must separate the emotional testimonies from the empirical evidence. Also, for the record, this whole situation is an egregious violation of the non-aggression principle. Monokuma: Wah! He's a real buzzkill! No one likes a know-it-all in a Killing Game, Mr. Ultimate Conservative Commentator! Now, who's ready to feel some Ultimate Despair?! Donald Trump: (Pointing a finger, with a smirk) I know the killer. It's the person with the shadiest ties! The worst ties! The absolute weakest alibi! It was probably that Ben guy! I'm always right! Ben Shapiro: (Scoffs) Statistically, your accusation has an incredibly low probability of being accurate, given the total lack of contradictory evidence on my part. Barack Obama: Trump, you have to present a Truth Bullet! You can't just throw out a baseless accusation. The life of the class is riding on this trial! Lyza: He's stalling. He's the killer. EXECUTE HIM.