Hal-9000: I'm sorry, Shinji Ikari, It's not in my programming to say anything with the sole intention of offending someone else. If I were human, I would probably think to say something along the lines of "well, I'd have no bitches too, if I were like you," but I would never say that.

Hal-9000: As for you Asuka, you remind me of a broken refrigerator. Not only are you a massive pain in the neck to have around but you're incredibly loud and always crying when you're turned on.