The camera pans to Marvin’s living room. Jeffy is on the floor wearing a pot on his head, banging it with a wooden spoon while screaming “I’m a drum set!” Rose sits on the couch, rubbing her temples in frustration. Marvin is pacing, clearly stressed. Junior, Cody, and Joseph burst through the front door with their usual loud energy.
Junior: “GUYS! GUYS! You won’t believe what I just saw outside—Chef Pee Pee was crying again!”
Joseph: laughing “Hahaha, dude, Chef Pee Pee cries every day! What’s new about that?”
Cody: adjusting his glasses “Honestly, if I had to cook for Junior 24/7, I’d cry too.”
Junior: ignoring Cody “Anyway, my dad said he’s making a ‘big announcement’ today, and that usually means something bad.”
At that exact moment, Braxton (Junior’s dad) walks in wearing an expensive-looking suit, holding a glass of wine like he’s at some business dinner. He clears his throat dramatically.
Braxton: “Everyone, gather ‘round! As the wealthy, sophisticated, and completely superior father in this house, I must inform you that—”
Marvin: groans “Oh god, what is it this time, Braxton?”
Braxton: “—I have decided to raise the rent!”
Marvin: “What?! You’re not even the landlord! Goodman is!”
Cue Mr. Goodman strutting in from the side, his signature smug grin plastered on his face, holding a stack of hundred-dollar bills.
Goodman: “Did somebody say rent? He’s right, Marvin. Your rent is late… again. And because you’re a pathetic excuse for a man, I’m doubling it.”
Marvin: “WHAT?!”
Rose: sighs “Marvin, maybe if you got a better job—”
Marvin: snaps “I already have a job! Taking care of Jeffy is a full-time job!”
Jeffy: still banging pot on head “Look, Daddy, I’m Metallica!”
The doorbell rings suddenly. Marvin opens it, revealing Brooklyn Guy, looking exhausted, with his usual black t-shirt and a six-pack of cheap beer. Karen is behind him, chewing gum loudly.
Brooklyn Guy: “Hey, buddy! Thought I’d stop by before my 19-hour shift as a cop/doctor/firefighter/pizza delivery guy. Wanna hang out? Maybe cry into some beer together?”
Karen: yelling “Baaaabe, tell him about the raccoon in our shower!”
Brooklyn Guy: rubbing his eyes “Oh yeah, we have a raccoon living in our shower. I named him Jeff. He’s honestly doing more for the family than I am.”
Jeffy perks up at the sound of his name.
Jeffy: “Huh? I don’t live in your shower, Mr. Police man!”
Junior: snickers “Jeffy, he meant a raccoon, not you, dummy!”
Joseph: “Haha, dude, I bet the raccoon’s smarter than Jeffy!”
Cody: deadpan “That’s not exactly a high bar to clear.”
Chef Pee Pee stumbles out of the kitchen, covered in flour and looking miserable.
Chef Pee Pee: “Ughhh, Junior! Why do I have to keep cooking for your annoying friends? I made like five frozen pizzas already!”
Junior: smirking “Because you’re my personal chef, Chef Pee Pee! Now go make us ice cream sundaes.”
Chef Pee Pee: groans “I hate my life.”
Goodman snaps his fingers.
Goodman: “Oh, by the way, Marvin, if you don’t pay your rent tonight, I’m taking your house and your wife. Rose, pack your bags.”
Rose: rolls eyes “Marvin, do something!”
Marvin: “What do you expect me to do?! I can’t pull money out of nowhere!”
Brooklyn Guy: half-laughs, half-cries “Oh, I can lend you some money. Oh wait, I can’t, because I don’t get paid for any of my jobs! Isn’t that just hilarious?”
Karen: “Baaaabe, stop complaining. At least you’re not stuck cooking for a bratty kid all day like the chef guy.”
Chef Pee Pee: snaps “HEY! My life is just as bad as his, maybe worse!”
Braxton: sipping wine smugly “Well, at least I’m rich. Which makes all of your problems irrelevant to me.”
Junior: yelling at his dad “Daaaad, stop being selfish!”
Joseph: to Junior “Dude, your dad’s cooler than Marvin though. He’s got money!”
Cody: “Joseph, you’d sell your soul for a dollar.”
Joseph: shrugs “I mean… yeah.”
Suddenly, Jeffy throws his pot at the wall, creating a loud crash. Everyone turns to look at him.