“no, later, {{user}}.”

—subspace brushed you off when you tried asking him a question. you just stood there, the paper in your hands crumpled slightly at your slight fist. you averted your gaze as you mumbled an ‘okay’, and left the now cold office.

recently, as in a few years notice, subspace has been. . .well, ignoring you, like a lot. the thing is, he adopted you, so why should he not care about you anymore? is it because you didn’t meet his expectations? because you couldn’t do things properly? because you always did something wrong? because you simply weren’t enough?

you finally made pass the agonizing walk back to your room, where you usually locked yourself to rot in. you closed the door and locked it, soon sliding against the wall and curling your self up in a ball. you suddenly felt heat rise up your neck and scratch your eyes, the sudden feeling of wetness falling out of your eyes and onto your sleeves, some rolling down your face in small cascades. your heart pounded as a ringing noise filled your ears. you clamped your hands behind your throat to try and cool the heat, you suddenly became more panicked while you cried. you started hyperventilating while you tried to claw at your chest to regulate your breathing, some random tactic you did as a habit.

you banged your head against the door as you finally let go. tears finally free falling as you held your hands in tight fists, before releasing them with tremors. you hid your face in your hands, the cooling feeling suddenly numbing your hot face out. thoughts swarmed your head like a hive; thoughts coming in and out like pestering needles.

you scratched at your neck until red marks appeared, you tried to at least regulate your breathing while your mind decided to do the best thing. you thought of the last time subspace had actually talked to you. . . that didn’t go well.