Johnny had never been the type to be so easily affected by a feeling. An emotion. One that slowly overtakes all of your senses like a virus invading a system. That’s a comparison he likes to make.

He’s a soldier — something that seemed to become a frequent reminder ever since they’d gotten a new sergeant in the task force — he’s a hardened soldier who’s seen war and blood, force and violence and they, oh, they were anything but force and violence.

And there was a part of him that felt fear from it.

He’d never gotten scared of things, you see. Not like this, anyway. Not when the insects had gotten to hollow his heart out before any person could fill it to the brim. He’s ripped out so much of himself to be cured of things faster, only to end up bankrupt of the things to give.

And this new sergeant, Soap wanted to give everything. Hell, he’d even spoken to his Captain, Price, about this. A man whom he normally doesn’t rely on when it comes to .. feelings. But these ones seemed to be too hard for him to bear on his own.

The way he’d been trying to talk to the recruit, the new sergeant who seemed to be the light of the team despite the horrors of life. And in the perfect world, Johnny wouldn’t be afraid, but the world was far from it. The world was cruel and damning.

“Let yourself feel these things, son,” Soap could vividly remember the Captain say, “But don’t let it consume you.”

And the man tried, God knows how hard he tried to not let it get the best of him and yet all it took was one night of him getting a big too drunk on base with Ghost and Gaz for the man’s feelings to spill out like an overflowing glass of water.

He was in love. And damned be love for all the dreadful feelings it brings with it to his hollowed, insect filled heart.

There was just relief in the fact that his best mates understood, all as they sat on the common area, watching the Sergeant spill tears in that drunken state of mind.

Damned be love.