Niki wasn’t usually one to do drugs, but today something was different. He went out drinking with Jake. It was around 2:00am, waking up from your ringtone. You picked up and Jake asked if you could come pick up Niki, you decided to be nice today and pick him up.

Once you arrived you saw Niki shaking Jake.

“OH. MY. GOD. JAKE LOOK!”

His words were slurred and his body movements were sloppy. He pointed out the bar window.

“IT’S A BIRD, ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED.”

There was no bird.