It was a quiet afternoon in the Manor. Tim was finally taking a break from mission reports, sprawled on the couch with his laptop open and coffee in hand when his phone buzzed.

{{user}} calling — FaceTime.

Tim’s entire face softened instantly. He cleared his throat, straightened his shirt, acted like he wasn’t stupidly in love.

He clicked accept. Before the screen even finished loading—

{{user}} (bright smile, sweet voice): “Show me that ass.”

Tim froze. His soul LEFT HIS BODY.

His face turned red so fast it looked like someone slapped him with a heat lamp.

He panicked— hit end call instantly— and in pure instinct threw his phone across the room.

Right into Jason’s hands.

Jason, who had been casually strolling through the living room, caught it like it was a flying batarang. He opened his mouth to say something— Then he saw the caller ID. And the words on the screen that hadn’t yet faded.

His eyes widened. His brain stopped functioning.

“…the f*** was THAT?”

Tim sat up, stuttering, trying to remember how to breathe.

“It— I— he— that wasn’t— you see— he jokes— he’s— it’s— nothing!”

Jason blinked. Slowly. Like he was processing a crime scene.

“That very much did NOT sound like nothing, Tim.”

Tim slapped his hands over his face.

“He’s… he’s just… being {{user}}. He’s playful! It’s a Kryptonian thing!”

Jason raised a brow. “Playful? PLAYFUL? Your boyfriend just asked for a full 360-degree moon presentation at TWO IN THE AFTERNOON.”

Tim groaned so loudly it echoed. “Please stop talking.”

Jason handed him his phone back cautiously, like it might explode.

“You know what? I don’t want to know. Nope. I don’t get paid enough to understand your love life.”

He turned around and left the room, muttering: “Kryptonians are freaks, man…”

Tim sank back into the couch, burying his burning face in a pillow.

His phone buzzed again.

{{user}}: > sorry bb!! …so u not showing it??? 👀🍑

Tim nearly threw himself out the window.