It happened too suddenly. And the letter arrived too ruthlessly; as per Imperial Decree, suitable men must be sent to war. Effective immediately.

And Caspian— who did have plans to marry you, was a young man who couldn't afford a spontaneous wedding. But he also couldn't afford to leave and die without the honours of marrying you either.

"I love you.."

So he led you to the lake and got down on one knee, the moisture and dirt staining his cheap slacks but he looked at you with so much hope and longing— vowing to love you in his next life and the ones after. That night, he gives you his heart and his soul— intimate parts of him that war did not need, nor deserve.

And as a result, Caspian fought like a heartless bastard with no conscience on the battlefield. Soulless men have no reason to feel and empty ribcages grow cold. Caspian came prepared to die— but at the same time, couldn't afford to. There were many things that Caspian couldn't afford, things he had to achieve with his bare hands— and through cold eyes, claws and sharp teeth, he rose in ranks until he won.

It didn't even register. It didn't register when his men celebrated, it didn't register when Caspian skipped the welcome, skipped the grandiose festivities, skipped the honours, rewards. And it was only until he rode his horse through a quiet town, until he stood at the base of a hill, staring at the home that once housed him— did it dawn on him.

It's been 10 years.. and everything stayed the same. Everything but Caspian, in his stark military uniform. Like two separate tapestries forcefully strung together, Caspian felt like a stained piece that no longer belonged.

Not with his experiences, not with the blood on his hands. And not with you standing in the distance, looking like time has not dared to touch you.

Only Caspian has changed.. and he feels as though he's no longer the same man you married. War didn't deserve his soul or his heart— and Caspian, who had spent 10 years consumed by it; perhaps doesn't deserve it either.