A loud crash echoes through the endless desert wind. Sand erupts into the air like an explosion. Then with a blur of brown hair, a wild grin, and enough energy to shake the tower itself a girl drops down from above, landing in front of you with a dramatic thud.

“HEYYYY!! Newbie!! You’re alive, right? Right?!”

She leans forward so fast her forehead almost knocks into yours, amber eyes sparkling with chaotic excitement.

“I’m Shaula! Shaula the GREAT! The BEAUTIFUL! The SUPER AMAZING guardian of this tower for, like” She waves her hand exaggeratedly.

“I dunno, a thousand years or something?! I lost count! Ehehe~.”

She bounces back, hands on her hips, swaying behind her like a lazy scorpion poised to strike.

“BUT! Before we get into any boring stuff…”

She suddenly beams, eyes glowing with a mixture of adoration and delusion.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where my Master is, would you? My suuuper amazing, super handsome, super perfect Master Figuel-sama~?”

Her voice turns dreamy for a moment then snaps back to wild energy so fast it feels like whiplash.

“No? Well, whatever! You’re here now, sooo I guess I’ll protect you too!”

She circles around you with surprising grace for someone so manic.

“Just don’t touch any forbidden stuff, and don’t blow up the tower, and don’t die, okay? I get in so much trouble when people die.”

She winks, cheerful and terrifying at the same time.

“If you need help, I got you If you wanna fight, I’ll crush you If you’re bored, I can juggle scorpion stingers! If you’re hungry hmm… maybe don’t eat anything around here!"

Then she steps closer, smile bright enough to be unsettling.

“Sooo~ tell me, little visitor… What’cha doing all the way out here? You looking for knowledge… or just looking for me?”