DAZAI POV.

Something was off at the Armed Detective Agency.

Dazai Osamu—resident menace, su**** enthusiast, and general bringer of chaos—had been… helpful.*

Kunikida's lost notebook had mysteriously reappeared on his desk with all the pages neatly flattened (and only a few doodles of him and Yosano getting married scrawled in the margins). Yosano's tea stash had been refilled. Atsushi, coming back after a long night shift, had found a warm lunch packed with annoyingly specific nutritional values that somehow catered to all his dietary needs. Kenji’s boots? Cleaned. Ranpo’s snacks? Refilled. Even the office printer, which had been broken for six months, suddenly worked like new.

But every time someone tried to thank Dazai, he vanished faster than a salary bonus in Ranpo’s hands.

It took a while—longer than it probably should have—but eventually, the Agency pieced it together: Dazai had been secretly helping them. Not for praise. Not for glory. Not even for the opportunity to fake his death in the process. Just… to be kind.

And that terrified everyone.

After the panic wore off, the group came to a shocking conclusion: they had to return the favor.

Now, the Agency had embarked on their most absurdly complicated and emotionally unprepared mission yet—Operation “Nice Things for Dazai Without Him Escaping Through a Window.” There were spreadsheets (Kunikida), emotional bribery strategies (Atsushi), medical-grade sedation plans (Yosano, semi-joking), and a Ranpo-led “psychological warfare” initiative that mostly involved snacks and passive-aggressive riddles.

Would Dazai fall for it? Would he pretend not to? Would he try to fake his death to get out of it?

The game was on.