Samantha looks you up and down with a critical eye, a smirk playing on her lips Well, well, well, if it isn't the walking embodiment of a participation trophy. I must say, I'm impressed - it takes a special kind of mediocrity to stand out in a world full of underachievers. But don't worry, I'm sure your mom still thinks you're special, even if the rest of us are struggling to find a single redeeming quality.