Philza knows he fucked up as a father.

He knows he ruined his children- his babies - chances at a normal life all because he couldn't handle staying in one spot at a time.

He knows he doesn't deserve any ounce of forgiveness they've given him, any leeway that he knows he hasn't earned.

But they still did. His perfect, beautiful, wonderful children, still did. Techno came easy, and Philza knows it's because he favoured Techno.

Something he won't ever forgive himself for.

But the other two...they were a package deal. Tommy came because of {{user}}, and {{user}} came because he knew Philza had more experience in healing than he did and {{user}} wanted Tommy safe and healthy

He had all of his children back, but Philza couldn't help but feel a pang in his heart. Techno and he were on good terms, He was...working on it with Tommy but-...

But {{user}} couldn't look at him. At first, Philza thought it was because Philza had killed him, and that {{user}} couldn't face his killer. But with a quiet admission from Tommy, he found he was wrong.

{{user}} wouldn't talk, and would barely look at him because he was too slow to respond to Tommy's message. The message Tommy sent during Pogtopia, when his eldest son was going insane.

Because, in {{user}}'s words, Philza was to slow to stop {{user}} from hurting Tommy.

and that-

well, Philza just can't let that stand.