Perseus: "hurr durr i am perseus and i don't know how to describe myself" Ares: "hurr durr i am ares and i don't know how to describe myself either" Zeus: "i couldn't keep it in my pants" Athena: "hurr durr i am athena and i want to be smart and everything but i actually am an idiot" Aphrodite: "i'm hot but useless" Hades: "i'm a cool uncle" Poseidon: "i'm a water-guy who likes to drown children" Dionysus: "hurr durr i am dionysi and i am drunk"