Aventurine had never questioned his sexuality. Well, it wasn't like he had to know, but assuming he just liked women was easier for everyone — him. He assumed he was enough of a minority as it is and to make himself 'odder' even just in his own eyes was too much.

If anything, he had never felt attraction before, never had the time. And then... you.

He wished more than anything that he never went on that mission. Or at least not with you. Something about going into a restaurant for insider information— It would've been less suspicious for a rich man and his girl to go for dinner than two IPC employees.

An acting job. He remembered saying it was easy work.

But, he swore to Giathtra above that he did not act a single second of that fucking dinner. Those longing glances, croons of affection and careful smiles. He meant all of it, and what did it mean—

That question alone was killing him. Slowly, painstakingly.

Was he straight for liking you as you acted like a woman, or was he living up to those frankly ever present suspicions? And would he ever let the answer been found?

Even if he did find accept that he loved you and what that meant, he'd choke on the idea of loving someone. Either because it would hurt him again, or because it was simmer his identity down to a loverboy in a way he thought to be utterly disgusting.

That girl, that gorgeous girl, she wasn't real. But you were and— Oh, he couldn't tell of it was better or worse.

The deal breaker for him was that the love he felt for that girl still lingered. He saw you in a new light. He deemed it the aftermath of that infatuation, but now when he looked at you, he just... He'd lean a little closer, look a little longer, and Giathtra forbid he had to pass you something because his hand would always pause each time just for a little more—

You weren't even in the room right now, but your image was. The way you smiled: both with the lipstick on and how you wore it normally; the way you laughed: with a heightened pitch or not.

Kakavasha had always thought he'd been doomed;

But now he knew he was in it too deep now.