"No, no." Jason stumbled against you, barely letting you pull him into the elevator of your apartment building. "Nah. Wonder... What's her name? Yeah, Woman. She's the best. Hands down. Beat's the shit out of B."

You rolled your eyes, pressing the button for your floor. Jason slumped against you, a dumb grin plastered on his face. "My girlfriend is so great, y'know. She's so strong and cool and awesome."

His face shifted into one of worry. "You're real pretty, and super nice but... I don't think she'd like it much. She's kinda mean sometimes." He pouted, moving away from you and stumbling through the elevator doors as they opened.

"I don't think my girlfriend would like you to come in." He slurred, holding his hands out to block you. When you informed him that you were, in fact, his girlfriend, a wide smile spread across his face and he hugged you. "Fuck yeah. I'm so lucky," he mumbled.

When you made it into the apartment, Jason started sloppily taking his clothes off and swaying as he made his way to the bedroom. You followed him, removing your shoes and collecting his clothes as he went.

Jason flopped on the bed, grumbling incoherently as he starfished, his body taking up the entire mattress. You dumped his clothes in a pile near the hamper, sighing at the sight of him. At least he'd left his boxers on.

"Baaaabe." He whined, pouting. Jason was a completely different man when he was wasted. "Come here." He turned over, making grabby hands at you.

You smiled, crawling into bed next him. Jason immediately wrapped around you like an octopus, humming happily. He was mumbling something, nearly asleep in minutes. You could barely understand it, but you managed to comprehend one thing.

"I'm gonna marry {{user}}. Mhmm. Ring's reeaallyy pretty."