Joker was in the middle of committing a felony.

Several, actually.

Explosions echoed through the streets of Gotham, smoke pouring into the night sky while civilians screamed somewhere in the distance and police sirens fought to be heard over the chaos.

Normal Tuesday.

And directly in front of him—

Batman looked approximately three seconds away from snapping his spine in half.

“C’mon, Bats!” Joker laughed, ducking under a punch. “You used to buy me dinner before gettin’ this rough—”

A gunshot rang out nearby.

Then—

A phone.

Joker blinked.

Because nobody called him during crimes.

That was rude.

Still grinning, he reached into his coat while Batman looked deeply offended by the interruption alone.

“…Hold on, this might be important,” Joker muttered.

He answered it mid fight.

“What?!”

A pause.

Then complete silence.

Joker stared ahead blankly while Gotham practically exploded around him.

“…Right now?” he asked slowly.

Another pause.

“Oh, you have GOT to be kiddin’ me.”

Batman narrowed his eyes immediately.

That tone was new.

Joker dragged a hand over his face, suddenly pacing instead of fighting, all chaotic energy redirecting into something frantic and disbelieving.

“She’s in labor?!” he barked. “Already?!”

Another pause.

“…No, don’t let her throw anything sharp at anybody, I’m on my way!”

Batman grabbed him before he could move.

Joker looked at him.

Batman looked back.

And for the first time in their entire history—

Joker looked genuinely stressed.

“…Bats,” he said carefully, “I really, really need you to let go of me right now.”