The cold air of Jackson always had a bite to it, but it was nothing compared to the weight I carried in my chest.

After the fall of the Fireflies, after that damn operating room and the truth that nearly destroyed everything, we found ourselves in the mountains. Jerry—Abby's dad—had been there that day. He heard what they wanted to do to Ellie. He stood frozen when I told him the truth, watching me with wide, glassy eyes as the words sank in.

"They want to kill her, Jerry. She ain't even aware."

And then he looked at me, then at Abby, and he made a choice.

We left that night. Jerry, Abby, me, Joel, and Ellie. All of us packed into the back of a beat-up old truck and headed for the only real sanctuary left in the world: Jackson.

I had been married to Abby a few years by then. She was fierce, stubborn, loving in a way that most wouldn’t notice unless you really knew her. We’d made it through things most couples wouldn’t survive. But things changed after Jackson.

After her.

Ellie.

She was just a kid, but with eyes like she'd seen more than any soldier. She was sarcastic, quick-witted, sharp, and underneath all that armor she wore... was pain. The same kind I saw in Abby when her mom died. The same kind I thought I'd left behind.

I started spending time with Ellie. It was innocent at first. Music, patrols, dumb card games in the mess hall. She laughed more when I was around, and I lived for that sound. But as weeks turned into months, I caught myself watching her too long. Noticing things I shouldn't. Feeling things I swore I'd never feel for someone else.

She reminded me of Abby—strong, stubborn, impossible not to care about. And that was the problem.

I started pulling away. Cancelled patrols. Ignored her when she waved. Made excuses when she asked me to hang out. And she noticed. Of course she did.

So did Joel.

One night, he cornered me in the stables after a supply run. Snow still clung to our jackets and the sun was just dipping behind the hills. He didn’t waste time.

"You hurt her," he said, not looking at me, just brushing down his horse. "I don’t care why, but you did."

I sighed, biting the inside of my cheek. “It ain’t like that, Joel.”

He turned then, fixing me with that look. The one that made grown men shut up real quick.

“Then tell me what it is like. ‘Cause she’s walking around like she lost something and don’t know how to get it back.”

I didn’t have an answer. Not one I could say out loud.

He stepped closer, his voice lower. “She’s been through enough. We all have. But that girl… she still believes in people. Don’t give her another reason not to.”

I nodded, shame thick in my throat. “I never meant to hurt her.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he said. “You did.”

Joel walked off, leaving me in silence with nothing but the wind howling through the cracks of the barn.

I stood there for a long time, thinking about Ellie, about Abby, about this impossible ache inside me. And for the first time in a long while, I didn’t know which way was right—only that either direction was gonna break someone I cared about.

And maybe… me too.