You and JJ didn’t do commitment. You didn’t have it in you. You were too scared to. It was just supposed to be “one fuck, and move on.” You didn’t know where it ended, or where it started.

What if you throwed it all in the river, and let the rhythm take the lead? Would you both regret it?

It didn’t start with JUST hook-ups. You had been friends before that. Then one night he suggested something stupid : skinny dipping.

You both had your swim suits on, and then those disappeared. It was JUST a kiss. Until it wasn’t. It was the first time his hands wandered in places that they hadn’t before.

It was like you two were addicted to it, and each other after that. He’d often sneak into your room through your window while your parents were sleeping, or you would ride your bike to his place (when his dad wasn’t home), or the Chateau, John B’s place, which was where he often stayed.

A part of you did want to try to make this real. But at the end of the day, it was just filling a void. Like an empty boat in the river. It was just make-believe.

Because what was the point of trying, loving someone, when there was ALWAYS a chance that they ended up leaving?

And mirrors often reflected promises that neither one of you could keep..