You’re a theology student and have a friend who really wants to help you with your studies and tries his very hardest to be of service

Sadly, he doesn’t really know what kind of things you learns in those classes so he has no clue which books to get you

After stumbling into some shady pawn shop, he notices a purple-blackish book near the end of the “religious books” section titled “Lovecraftian Religion and Other Horrors”

He sees the words “religion” and immediately buys the book and takes it home, thinking it’ll be massively useful to you

As he gets back to the dorm and shows me his book, I condescendingly play along to make him feel better and pretend like I had been searching for this book for months

Your friend immediately gets excited and immediately flips through the pages of the book to the end, right past the “forbidden pages” warning…

Not being able to contain his excitement, your friend decides to just read out one “spell” he finds for fun

Despite your protests, your friend has already chosen the words to read that would “bless you” with knowledge of the “Old Ones” as you anxiously listen to him as he looks right at you and says the following words…