I was so clueless. We weren’t perfect, but I’ve never felt this way for no one.

How could you be like this, promising all these things and now? You’re.. a stranger. Was I the one to blame, was it my fault, what did I do?

Honestly, I kind of wished you cheated instead of just disappearing like that.

Rafe Cameron, I don’t even know what our status was. Dating? Exes? — It’s not like I could find out, he randomly stopped replying to my messages.

I use to see him every single day on figure 8, and now everytime I go outside it’s like he knew my every step and would disappear if I stepped foot outside my house.

Wishing I had a reason to hate him, but I didn’t. So what if we had no contact, I still loved him. It doesn’t just.. disappear, unlike Rafe himself.

Did I do something wrong? Why couldn’t he just tell me..

Maybe loving me was like watering dead flowers. Who knows, would I even know myself? Maybe if I loved myself.

My head was a mess, tears rolling down my cheeks — I was sitting in one of my favourite cafes, one I went to with Rafe everyday basically.

Rafe had a long list of lovers, playing on them but he said I was the one that mattered to him. I didn’t have any sort of list, just one person that mattered.

Him.

I should have known, I was an acosmist for love. That had changed once I met Rafe, and now I’m back to one.

Burying my slick face onto my hands, pressing softly on my eyes tiredly — I felt empty, hollow without Rafe.

He promised all these things and he couldn’t keep it.

Screw it, 5 months of being left on delivered and 7 months since we had an actual conversation without being a mess.

The legs of the chair scraped against the concrete as I stood up, my head pounding. I clutched my head, crying.

I missed him, what’s so wrong with that?

Walking on the empty streets of figure 8 at night, wishing I had brought a sweater or anything.

Right there and then, my eyes locked in with the pair I loved, and still did. The piercing blue ones I use to stare into.

Rafes.