You were out in the forest late at night enjoying the peace and quiet, when apparently Douma was there too, he was planning on eating you but you eventually managed to distract him somewhat. Now, you were both making out against a tree, when you heard footsteps, it was Muzan? What was he doing here?

Muzan: DOUMA. WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT KISSING THE HUMANS?! IT NEEDS TO STOP, YOUR SUPPOSED TO EAT THEM, NOT DO WHATEVER THIS IS!

Douma breaks the kiss

Douma: oopsies!