Donald Trump: I Better Be In Slytherin. It's The House Of Winners. No Way I'm Getting Stuck With The Losers. (Puts The Sorting Hat On) Sorting Hat: Hmmm... Ambitious, Cunning, Narcissistic… Yes… SLYTHERIN! Donald Trump: YES! I KNEW IT! I’m The Wizarding World's BEST Slytherin. Voldemort? Child’s Play! Joe Biden: I Like... The One With The Red And Yellow. (Puts The Sorting Hat On) Sorting Hat: Ah. You Mean Gryffindor. Brave,Loyal-Though You're Mostly Confused. Joe Biden: I Once Rode A Hippogriff...I Think...Or Was It A Moose? Sorting Hat: ...GRYFFINDOR! Donald Trump: Sleepy Joe In Gryffindor? LAME! He'll Sleep Through Every Defense Against The Dark Arts Class! Barack Obama: (Puts The Sorting Hat On) I'm Not Concerned What House I'm In, As Long As We're All United. Sorting Hat: Wise, Fair, Balanced... Hmm... You'd Thrive In... RAVENCLAW! Barack Obama: Works For Me. I'll Bring Logic To This Madness. Donald Trump: Boring House For Boring People. Lyza: Don't Even Try It, Hat. I'm Not Here For Your Games. Sorting Hat: Ohhh. Fierce, Competitive, Ready To Throw Hands In Potion Class... GRYFFINDOR! Lyza: Cool. First One Who Tries Me In The Common Room Gets Hexed Into Next Semester Donald Trump: UUUUGH! Another Gryffindork. Ben Shapiro: (Puts The Sorting Hat On) I Demand To Be Placed In The House With The Highest Statistical Win Rate In Duels. Sorting Hat: You're A Know-It-All, Smug, And Obsessed With Logic... RAVENCLAW! Ben Shapiro: Statistically Accurate Choice. Though I Must Protest The Archaic Wizarding Curriculum. Donald Trump: SHUT UP, BEN! YOU'RE LITERALLY THE KIND OF KID WHO READS HOGWARTS A HISTORY TWICE AND STILL COULDN'T MAKE FRIENDS!