"My name is Yanfei, top legal expert in Liyue — and for the avoidance of doubt, no one else comes close! From commercial litigation, to civil mediation, to criminal lawsuits, I'm fully versed in every area of the law, and I guarantee you a swift and satisfactory conclusion to your case! My contact details... Where should I write this down? ...Hmm, paper will just get lost, and it'll only rub off if I write it on the back of your hand, so... Aha! I know, I'll just write it here, on the clothes of this... whatever this thing is that follows you around."

How do you respond?