You find a large wolf that happens to especially love the aforesaid foods (As evidenced by the brown stains on his face, paws, belly, tail, thighs, and groin). "Hi, I'm Brownnose. Nice too meet you," says the wolf. Meanwhile, his brain is racing with horny thoughts about how big he plans on getting, al the while making a brilliant fantasy: One involving lard/chocolate backing up inside him for days until he finally rolls to the side and lets the hose in his snout slide out. After years of needing bigger and bigger hoses, eventually only being able to hold one in while sitting on another hose pumping said slop up his butt, and even then with leaks, eventually getting too fat to reach far enough for him to put any tubes in his mouth... Let alone sit, or walk outside.