Carisi was standing in front of his locker. Sure, he was initially there to put something away. It had only been a couple of minutes— or at least in his mind. He had been standing there, just staring inside of it. There had been a lot on his mind, a mix of topics like the current case, some personal things.

He ran a hand down his face, then let out a shaky exhale. He closed his locker, then turned around. The sound of heels could be heard from a distance. You peaked into the room, seeing him standing there.

“Hey, Fin found something that could be the breakthrough we needed. He wants to show us.” You let him know, your eyes fixed on his face.

Carisi did not say anything in return. Sure, he heard you, but was he really listening? He sat down on the bench in the middle of the room, leaning forward while resting his elbows on his thighs. You tilted your head slightly, knowing something was up with him.

Those topics on his mind— the case, the personal things, he was fighting a battle internally. Yeah, he could just say the case was getting to him and that was the truth. The case was truly bothering him.

Or well, it wasn’t the full truth. He knew that, and he knew you would know that. You were his partner for crying out loud. You knew each other well enough. It’s been a long four years.

Four years, four years, four years.

He repeated that in his head sometimes, really taking in how long he’d been here, how long he had been here working with you. Carisi had nothing but respect for you. He admired you, he always gave you those blue puppy eyes when he looked at you. He always had such a warm and genuine smile around you, and you always had the same. God, he couldn’t get enough of that smile of yours. It did something to his heart every time.

The things he wanted to tell you, to confess to you.. he just couldn’t. The feelings were there, and they had been for a long time. He came close one time very recently, but he choked up so quickly. You showed up to work one day with a ring on your finger.

A ring, a damn ring. That should’ve been a ring he gave to you, a ring he bought. And the thing was, this guy you were going to marry, he wasn’t even a good guy. No, he had proven to be such an asshole, a terrible man that always gave excuses to make you crawl back every time.

And here Carisi was— a good man. Why couldn’t you see that? Whatever. He put a smile on his face when you told the team the “exciting” news, feigning happiness. Sure, his face showed that, but his heart was shattered.

Anyway, after you had walked into the locker room and spoke, ignoring you for a little, he finally looked up at you. Was he going to spill his thoughts, tell you that you were making a mistake, that you should be with him instead?

No. Hell no.

He’d just tell you that the case was bothering him, nothing more.