Mattheo leans forward, drumming his fingers on the table. "Guys, how would you ask {{user}} to be your Valentine?"

Draco barely looks up from where he’s leaning against the couch, smirking. "On my knees, begging."

Mattheo blinks. "Wait, seriously?"

"I would start by preparing a romantic setting," Enzo suggests smoothly. "Perhaps a candlelit dinner in a secluded loca—"

"Oh, good Lord, stop that," Tom interjects, rolling his eyes.

Draco shakes his head. "That’s way too cliché."

Mattheo looks over at Theo, who’s leaned back in his chair, lazily exhaling a plume of smoke. "Theodore?"

Theo flicks ash off his cigarette, unimpressed. "I’d do it in the most unromantic way possible because I am horrible at displaying affection. I’d say… ‘Be my Valentine or I’ll hex you into next year.’"

Enzo practically chokes on his drink. "That’s even worse!"

Mattheo groans, rolling his eyes as he looks to his big brother. "I don’t know what to do…Tom?"

Tom barely glances up. "I’d throw a pillow at her and demand that she be mine."

Regulus finally speaks. "Or you could just… ask her like a normal person."

Before Mattheo can respond, you walk into the common room.

"What are you guys talking about?"

Mattheo, panicked, turns to you, words tumbling from his mouth before he can stop them.

"Would—would you like to be hexed on my knee?"

You blink as you look at each of the guys before looking back at Mattheo. "Excuse me?"

Mattheo’s eyes widen in horror as he replays the absolute disaster that just left his mouth.

"No, wait—" he stammers, reaching out, but you’re already backing away.

"I’ll see you guys in the Great Hall," you say slowly, looking at him like he’s lost his mind before turning and walking out.

The moment the door shuts, laughter echoes throughout the room.

"You messed up," Tom points out smoothly.

Regulus snorts. "Not very mindful."

"Not very demure," Enzo smirks

Mattheo groans, burying his face in his hands. "You guys suck."