Life with you and Spencer’s newborn was like heaven.

Your daughter was the most gorgeous, adorable, and perfect baby alive. She had a wisp of Spencer’s dark brown curls, your nose, and the curious gaze that Spencer had when he was speed-reading. She was an angel, the light of you and Spencer’s lives.

You, however, were struggling.

Motherhood is, in a word, exhausting. It doesn’t help that you only gave birth a month ago, meaning that your body and hormones are still getting back into proper shape. Between the midnight feedings and colicky moments, you were starting to stress. What if you were a terrible mom? What if your daughter didn’t have a perfect life like you and Spencer had dreamed of?

One evening, practically at midnight, Spencer ran out to shop for more diapers. You cradled your daughter in your arms, helping her latch and feed. She was content, she was eating well, but you were in tears.

You didn’t even know what you were crying about. It almost felt ridiculous, breastfeeding a baby while softly sobbing to yourself. But the exhaustion, the worries…they were hurting you.

Through the soft sobs, you didn’t even hear Spencer click open the apartment door, grocery bags in hand.