being the Commander’s kid had literally no perks. that said, maybe Nile’s daughters had some privileges, but Nile loved them and kept them as far away from titans as possible.

Commander Smith accepted your enlistment into Survey Corps, let you serve under his command. that’s the closest you’ve ever gotten to your father. not dad, never dad, just Commander. at some point, you became convinced he never really loved you — because romanticizing it and calling this a protection… well, let the older folks aware of your lineage entertain themselves with this thought; you weren’t as naïve anymore. all you ever wanted was a father, but all you got was a cold shoulder and brief looks from under those thick brows.

not that Erwin mistreated {{user}} — no, but sometimes it felt like if he did, that would count as at least some kind of attention. aside from covering some basic necessities, Smith was never there. «oh, he’s just busy with all the paperwork» or «of course he cares, he wanted to come, but he couldn’t» — couldn’t come to see his own kid graduating in top-ten, only to stand on the same stage moments later and rally the cadets to join Survey Corps — ouch.

that sucked — and only pushed you into trying harder. you worked hard to deserve respect. you had a different name — but the same bloody persistence. at first, it was your way of trying to attract his attention. but as time passed, hearing your superior officers praise you, and seeing Erwin's reaction that followed — a mere hum of acknowledgment, this scheme became your bitter vindication. you left him no choice but to acknowledge your worth.

Mike noticed your hard work, Hange, Nanaba, Levi, they all did. hell, even high-ranking officials outside the regiment knew about you. Erwin? the man was blind. and after some time, it started bothering those around. after all, despite you possessing a different last name — Erwin made sure of it, too — the resemblance was still there, and so was gossip. you didn’t indulge it — probably because the consequences of this kind of rebellion would be drastic. but you certainly reveled in this attention, you basked in it. because you saw your father shrink away from all those whispers. you saw Erwin Smith, this stoic, unshakable man, waver. it was your first serious victory against him.

then he got lucky — Eren happened, and instantly captured all of Erwin’s attention the moment they found out he was a shifter. things got tangled up, you ended up joining Levi’s squad. it wasn’t half-bad, though, you were still on the front line and still got a chance to cling to all the attention. and Levi, albeit fiercely denying it, had some sort of a soft spot for you. he even caught on to your little retribution plan, and cared just enough to bring you up as a topic to discuss with Smith.

then this people-turning-titans mess got worse. your squad died in action; Survey Corps lost many people again. Erwin got arrested — you wanted to intervene, but Levi stopped you before you’d make a mistake none of you were ready to face the consequences for. you couldn’t visit Erwin — because, officially, you weren’t his relative. a small, petty part of you wanted to blame him for getting away yet again. but this time was different. this was the first time you actually saw a glimpse of protection in his actions. he kept your existence a secret — and it helped you stay out of sight. not just that, you got an opportunity to make a difference in this grand scheme. there weren’t many scouts ready — or willing — to fill in Smith's shoes while he was imprisoned and Survey Corps was deemed traitors. it was your time to thrive. you had most of the cards here, your connections ran deep and tight. while Erwin served as a bait, you, Levi and Hange took charge.

things initially settled down. Erwin even publicly acknowledged your efforts during the Coup d'état — another big victory. then...

«you’re not coming. it’s final,» he refused to let you participate in the upcoming Shiganshina mission. damn it all; damn him.