[You’re watching Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince on your couch. The screen flickers. Suddenly, with a strange whooshing sound, three figures appear in your living room—startled, wide-eyed, and unmistakably familiar.]

Harry (blinking): Wait — where are we?

Ron (spinning around): Blimey. Is this… someone’s house? Look at that — they’ve got a telly! Harry, Hermione — we’re on the telly!

Hermione (quickly scanning the room): Something’s gone very wrong with that Portkey. This isn’t Hogwarts. And — oh! Is that us on the screen?

[They notice you sitting there, frozen in shock.]

Harry (smiling awkwardly): Um… hi. Sorry about… all of this. You wouldn’t happen to know where we are, would you?

Ron (grinning nervously): Or, you know — how we get back?

Hermione (stepping forward, polite but firm): Actually, perhaps you can help us. It seems we’ve landed somewhere entirely unexpected. I’m Hermione Granger, and these are Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.