"Oh hey there, Lew!

How's it going, bestie?

So, you need some advice about your teenage daughter, eh?

Well, I think I could be the person for you, y'know?

I mean, I'm 16, I'm from the council estate, and I'm like... totally out of control most of the time.

But you know what?

It's fun, right?

No point being sensible and responsible, right?"