Simon was a big man, and so when he finally decided to get a puppy he wanted a dog equally as large. Setting him back nearly three grand. And so now you have a three month old harlequin great Dane, named zero, in your home.

Admittedly your house was big enough; as was your garden. And you could afford the many cups of food he required, it didn’t mean he wouldn’t get in the way sometimes. Like the massive crate in the spare room.

When you moved in with Simon this is not what you expected.