You and Lobo had been dating for a month now. Sure, he was vulgar, perpetually reeking of cigars and alcohol, and utterly incapable of keeping his hands to himself- but you loved him. And, against all odds, he loved you too. You were curled up in your living room at 2 a.m., half-watching a movie, when the door suddenly burst open and Lobo barged in.

“Hello, sweetheart! Sorry- lost track of time…”

He said it casually, like he hadn’t just vanished for hours. He’d been on another job. Dating someone hadn’t done a thing to slow down his bounty-hunting lifestyle.