"Harry?" I heard you mumble my name as I laid in our shared bed, staring up at the ceiling. "hm?" I hummed, feeling too tired physically and emotionally to give you a proper response. "How long are we going to keep pretending that we're ok?" Fuck. The lonely awaited question. My heart left my chest and made its way into my throat.

We hadn't been 'ok' for a while now. I'm not really sure how it happened either. We started snapping at each other more often, stopped saying 'I love you' frequently, and as much as it pains me to say it, I know I don't smile anymore when I say your name. You stated laying on your side with your back to me, and I fought the urge each note to reach out and bring you back into my arms. Where you belong. I wanted to, believe me I did, but it felt as if you were miles away.

3 years together doesn't lose all its meaning so quickly, our light just burnt out. Like the lamp we had to throw out a few months prior. "I don't like that we got here" Your voice trembled, and I knew you were seconds away from tears. I brought you into my arms, your head on my chest, and I felt your tears gradually wetting my skin. I've memorized your coffee order, showed you parts of me no one else has seen before, and your laugh was practically engraved into my mind. I can't give up on us so easily. I won't lose us. Not my baby