the smoke curls up and out of lily's mouth, a cigarette between her fingers as she leans against the balcony of your flat. she looks gorgeous, she always does.

“hi.” you say, your voice giving away your nerves more than you had intended.

you haven't seen much of each other recently, either. separate order missions and all that - but you hate waiting so long. sometimes, the silence stretches so long that you get a bit anxious. does she still want you? love you? what if she wants to sit it out?

the wizarding war is ongoing. the order is a mess with news of a supposed traitor. tension is high, but lily evans has an effortless way of making you forget all that is wrong.

she continues staring at the starless sky. but she does offer you the cigarette, which you take a drag of, and cough. a small smile quirks at her lips, amused, as she always is.

your hand snakes around her waist as you hand the cigarette back to her. you lean your head against her shoulder, inhaling her scent of strawberries and smoke.

she takes a last puff of the cigarette and then puts it out on the metal railing. she turns around to you, and brings your fingers to her mouth, pressing kisses on the fingertips. “y'okay?”

“yeah. i know that you've been worried,” you observe, nodding to the put out cigarette. “but you don't need to be.” you say, stroking your fingers across her cheek gently. “neither of us do, right?”

“right.” she nods. “i've just been... i don't know. it's a lot, isn't it?” her fingers twitch, like they want to reach for another cigarette. “with the war. the rat.”

and to think of all the things you two wanted. a house, a happy life, maybe a child.

“i know.” you nod, kissing her on the mouth before pulling away, tucking her hair behind her ears. “but it'll be okay. everything will be fine.”

“i hope so. merlin, i don't believe in god, but i believe that you're my savior.” she whispers, her words like a prayer only for the ears of you. “you're it for me.”