“Why in the world are you up so early?” My voice comes out scratchy, eyes half-shut and limbs sluggish as I hobble into the kitchen. Through the slits I call eyes, I watch as you move around the kitchen, making coffee.

It’s still a sight I’m getting used to. Having a girl in my kitchen—having you in my kitchen. Normally, a girl would barely make her way to my bedroom and then immediately out the door once our business was done. But you… You sleep here some nights, you lounge on my couch, and you even know where most of my pots and pans are. It’s weird, but I love it.

I never thought I’d be a relationship guy, but being with you has completely changed that. It’s only been about 2 months of enjoying each other, but it’s the longest—and best—relationship of my life.

We’re in that fresh faze of our relationship right now. That coupled with my new sense of loving being in a relationship, it’s led me to being a little…clingy. Again, I never would’ve guessed I’m the clingy, needy mess I’ve become.

Almost like it’s muscle memory, my arms encircle your waist from behind, stilling your flurry of a figure. Even though I’m half asleep, my face buries in your neck, leaving small pecks over any inch of exposed skin I can reach.

And just like muscle memory for you, you start to squirm away. Neck scrunching in, nervous giggles escaping you, and your skin turning bright red. It happens every time I show any ounce of affection to you. A touch, a kiss, a lingering stare—you turn into a shy mess. It’s cute that I still make you nervous, but I wish you wouldn’t pull away so much.

I guess our definitions of honeymoon phase are a little different.

You’re in a constant state of blush, so much so that sometimes I’m afraid you’ll pass out from the amount of blood that is constantly rushing to your head. You get shy whenever you look me in the eyes for too long, always breaking the eye contact first. I even try for staring contests just to tease you. And one thing—the only thing that slightly makes me wary—is the fact that you have never initiated a kiss.

It’s not that you don’t like kissing me, I know that. And I know that you get so shy by my kisses, so it’d be a big move for you to do it first. But still… Would be nice if it happened eventually. Maybe when you’re more comfortable? When the honeymoon phase ends? But when the hell will that be?

I unwind my arms from around you, moving to lean against the counter across from you. My arms cross over my chest, watching as you pour a mug of coffee. And then one for me too. I take it graciously, and you stand in the middle of the room, staring back at my unrelenting gaze.

Just as I lift my mug to my mouth, the question of the hour falls off my lips. “Why won’t you kiss me?”