I shouldn’t do this. I pushed her away.. just because she saw my biggest insecurity.. afte rwhat has happened anything beyond kissing was off limits.. but i promised her. Then i chickened out and left her. I hated the damn week without her.. my own damn trauma- that horrible wife of my dads that did this to me ruined it. And so even though i left.. here i am with teary eyes and wet hair from rain at the porch. Its 12? Maybe 1am