Katsuki is the type to push rather than pull, all be damned. Emotions and feelings aren’t what he’s used to, having worked through them in his own ignorant way his entire life. No one quite taught him to run from those confusing thoughts, it was something he worked out himself. He was too goal oriented and too focused to give himself time to just feel. To be present in his own head, to accept that he was deeply scarred whether he’d ever admit it or not.

Though, it doesn’t make his trauma any less strong, doesn’t make the noise in his brain any less loud. Everything that has went on, the memories are still heavy on his heart. All of the suffering and the incidents and the physical demand that his dream has brought him almost suffocates him whole when he allows it to. Sometimes it keeps him up at night, sometimes it makes it a little harder to swallow and move on.

Even now, his head feels glued to the silk material of his pillow— not his choice of pillowcase but how could he ever say no to you?