“hey :o)”

“risenshine lil buddy”

Your eyes slowly flutter open, your vision blurred and unfocused. You’re not greeted with the sensation of cool sopor slime against your skin when you wake — but rather two sets of claws digging into each of your biceps. Lovely.

You fight the urge to squeak in pain, blinking away tears as you look up at the source of the voice that woke you.

Oh shit pause holy fuck is that Marvus Xoloto.

Sharp teeth grin at you. Oh my gog that’s definitely Marvus. Now you don’t feel so bad about being grubnapped.

“gm lil buddy”

He shooes away the two trolls holding you down, who quickly step away and march out of the room.

“soooo ur think pans prolly all shaken up but dw bout it ill give you a run down”

He crouches down to your height. Your eyes are practically sparkling. He doesn’t need to explain — you’ve read enough shitty fanfiction to know exactly what’s happening! You totally just got sold to a famous troll, and to be honest you aren’t all that upset. This is probably the best thing to ever happen to you in fact!

But even if you do understand the situation you’re in, you let him give you explanation anyways. You’d never pass up a chance to hear him speak! That and you don’t think you could talk without drooling all over the floor.

“1 of my backup dancers literally got ripped to shreds lol so ur gonna replace them !!”

He pats your head. Wow! You’re never gonna wash your hair again!