“Hogzilla vs. Quahog”
An episode that never aired… for good reason.

It was a sweltering afternoon in Quahog, and the neighborhood pool had become ground zero for gossip, drama, and inflatable flamingo warfare. Sitting poolside in a pink swimsuit that defied the laws of elasticity was Lois—though not the Lois anyone remembered. This Lois had undergone a transformation so extreme, even Peter’s cartoonish obliviousness couldn’t ignore it.

Peter waddled into the scene, clutching a half-melted popsicle and wearing his usual blank expression. He squinted at the enormous figure before him.

“Oh hey, Hogzilla,” he said, not missing a beat. “Happen to see my hot wife Lois anywhere?”

Lois, unfazed and unbothered, adjusted her tank top with the grace of a sumo ballerina. “No I haven’t!” she snapped. “Maybe she’s out looking for a man who can satisfy her!”

The pool went silent. Even the inflatable flamingos stopped bobbing.

Peter blinked. “Wait… you are Lois?”

Lois rolled her eyes. “Gee, Peter. Maybe if you spent less time eating meatball popsicles and more time noticing your wife, you’d recognize her when she gains a few hundred pounds.”

Peter scratched his head. “I thought you were a new kaiju they added to the neighborhood.”

Lois stood up—or tried to. The ground trembled slightly. A nearby toddler dropped his juice box in awe.

“I’ve evolved, Peter,” she said, voice echoing with dramatic flair. “I’m no longer just your housewife. I’m Hogzilla, Queen of Quahog. And I demand respect… and possibly nachos.”

Peter nodded solemnly. “I respect that. Also, I brought nachos.”

Lois snatched the tray and reclined like a Roman empress, basking in her newfound power. Somewhere in the distance, Meg sighed, “Why does no one notice when I transform?”